Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card?
Me: If I had to guess, I'd say it's 11 pt. Arial bold.
Things men should know before getting married:
1. You're always wrong.
2. You're always sorry.
3. She never wants "just one" of your fries.
4-year-old: What should I do if there's a bear?
Dad: Get me.
4-year-old: What will you do?
Dad: Get Mom.