Customer: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know.
Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone.
Customer: Oh, sorry. Yes.
HER: I absolutely love Star Wars
Him: Oh me too
HER: What's your favorite part?
Him: *nervously* Uh, when the stars go to war
I'm convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra Tupperware lid.